Various forms of open relationships exist, all hinging on trust and effective communication with your partner. Success depends on your shared desires and boundaries.
Whether from following celebrity gossip or perusing dating apps, you’ve likely encountered the phrase “open relationship.” But what does it truly entail?
An open relationship falls within the realm of consensual and non-monogamous partnerships. In this romantic arrangement, exclusivity isn’t the norm.
The vital ingredient for thriving open relationships is the mutual agreement to explore romantic or sexual connections outside of the partnership, all the while maintaining transparency.
According to Leteria Price, LCPC, LPHA, of Begin Within Counseling Services in Oak Park, Illinois, “For open relationships to function, alignment is crucial. These relationships prioritize emotional bonds over physical ones.”
Distinct from swinging, where couples collectively engage in sexual activities with other couples, centered on the physical aspect without establishing deeper connections, open relationships have their unique identity.
It’s important to differentiate open relationships from polyamory as well.
Open Relationships Vs. Polyamory
Distinguishing between an open relationship and polyamory lies in the complexity of commitments. Polyamory involves multiple dedicated relationships, encompassing both emotional and physical connections. Those engaged in polyamory might manage several relationships concurrently, with or without their main partner.
Leteria Price clarifies, “Polyamorous relationships comprise multiple partners, each at varying levels of commitment. In contrast, open relationships preserve the primary partnership without involving additional partners in it.”
In both polyamory and open relationships, the cornerstone is mutual agreement. Yet, as polyamory encompasses a larger group, it manifests in various structures.
Polyfidelity: Within this strand of polyamory, a committed group forms, pledging exclusivity within the circle and refraining from external romantic or sexual involvements.
Triad: Often known as a throuple, this arrangement entails a romantic and/or sexual dynamic among three individuals.
Quad: A configuration where four individuals share romantic or sexual connections. This could comprise two couples or unrelated individuals within the quad arrangement.
Vee: This structure involves one central partner, the pivot, engaged romantically with two others, while these two individuals maintain no romantic involvement with each other.
Open relationships permit partners to explore sexual or romantic liaisons similar to polyamory participants. The distinction is that these external relationships in open relationships remain casual and secondary to the primary partnership’s significance.
Who Chooses an Open Relationship?
According to a 2021 YouGov America survey, approximately one-fourth of Americans are intrigued by the idea of embarking on an open relationship. The survey unveiled that 32% of men and 19% of women who participated would be open to exploring a non-monogamous relationship. When considering married couples, the statistics showed that 30% of husbands expressed a curiosity about an open marriage, while 21% of wives shared a similar sentiment.
Notably, the generation that displayed the greatest interest in open relationships was millennials, spanning ages 26 to 41. Within this group, a significant 41% revealed an openness to such relationships. The following generation, Generation Z (18-25-year-olds), exhibited a 29% inclination towards open relationships, while Generation X (ages 43 to 57) indicated a 23% interest in pursuing them.
Is An Open Relationship Right for You?
While the prospect of open relationships may hold excitement and the promise of fulfillment, it’s vital to establish certain boundaries for their success.
Leteria Price underlines that open relationships involve incorporating others into your partnership. This requires a sturdy foundation of security and deep-rooted trust. She questions, “Both partners need to align on their view of sex. Is it merely a physical act or does it involve emotions?”
Various scenarios lead individuals to consider open relationships, yet consensus between partners is essential. It’s paramount that both individuals are ready and in agreement.
Price emphasizes the significance of trust, stating, “Open relationships demand an immense amount of trust. If one person reluctantly agrees against their true wishes, they’ll experience ongoing distress and the fear of losing their partner.”
For those intrigued by open relationships, Price recommends embracing the mutually defined boundaries, nurturing honesty, fostering substantial trust, and upholding effective communication.
Diverse forms of open relationships or non-monogamy exist:
- Polygamy/Polyandry: Polygamy entails a man marrying multiple women, and polyandry involves a woman marrying several men. However, these practices are illegal in the US and several Western countries.
- Swinging: Committed couples engage in sexual exchange with other couples, devoid of emotional or romantic ties.
- Polyamory: Encompassing multiple simultaneous sexual or romantic connections.
- Monagamish: Coined by sex advice columnist Dan Savage, it characterizes a mostly monogamous relationship permitting varying degrees of sexual interaction outside the partnership.
- Relationship Anarchy: Rejecting conventional relationship norms, this concept asserts the capacity for loving multiple individuals. Distinctions between platonic and romantic bonds are erased, and each connection is regarded as valuable, allowed to evolve in ways participants require.
How To Talk About an Open Relationship
Before broaching the delicate subject of an open relationship, it’s crucial to be crystal clear about your motivations. It’s important to ensure your intentions aren’t rooted in trying to salvage a struggling relationship. An open relationship, with its demands for trust and honesty, is unlikely to mend an already strained partnership.
Approaching the topic of opening up your relationship hinges on where you and your partner stand in your journey together. If your relationship is in its early stages or you’re still in the process of getting to know each other, this could be an ideal moment to discuss your stance on monogamy and the potential benefits of an open setup. During this conversation, reassure your partner that your desire for openness doesn’t stem from any shortcomings on their part. Avoid presenting it as an ultimatum, granting your partner the time and space they need to absorb the information.
When dealing with a well-established relationship, initiating the conversation becomes more intricate. Acknowledge whether both of you were on the same page about monogamy from the beginning and explain your reasons for exploring alternative arrangements. Clearly outline the boundaries and guidelines you envision for an open relationship.
Of utmost importance is ensuring that your partner feels at ease saying “no.” They shouldn’t sense judgment or pressure to align with your wishes. Respect for each other’s feelings remains paramount in any relationship dynamic.
Should you both decide to venture into an open relationship, decide together whether to share this with family and friends. You might opt to maintain discretion about the specifics of your relationship, or you could feel comfortable revealing that you’re practicing non-monogamy. The critical aspect is maintaining mutual understanding about what you communicate regarding your relationship and to whom.
Benefits, Pitfalls, and Strategies for Successful Open Relationships
eyond the thrill of diversity and novelty that open relationships can bring, they offer a host of other advantages. These relationships foster enhanced communication skills, allowing both partners to articulate their individual needs effectively. They also alleviate the pressure of having to satisfy all emotional and sexual requirements of a single partner, granting the freedom to explore various facets of oneself that might remain unexplored in a monogamous setting.
Naturally, open relationships carry their fair share of risks. Among them, jealousy looms large.
Leteria Price explains, “Jealousy surfaces when an emotional bond forms with someone else, and the partner feels threatened by the possibility of the primary relationship ending. Open relationships aren’t suitable for certain personality types. If you’re inclined to have your partner exclusively to yourself, this dynamic won’t be compatible.”
Low self-esteem, emotional distress from witnessing your partner’s happiness with another, the potential for unintended pregnancies, and the risk of sexually transmitted infections are among the challenges.
In addition to trust, honesty, and adept communication, thriving open relationships rely on well-defined guidelines that safeguard both physical and emotional boundaries. While open relationships entail connecting with multiple individuals, the emotions and beliefs you hold will ultimately shape the course of events.